Using the Past for Inspiration in the Future

I believe that we are all looking for inspiration in our lives. I also believe that inspiration is always with us if we are on the lookout for those moments that will help us move forward and attain our personal happiness and goals.

In my quest to “look good naked” I am hyper aware of those things that inspire me.

This week I was given the gift of witnessing my parents being uplifted by their own positive actions from almost fifty years ago.

My dad is eighty-two and my mom is seventy-six. The last few years have been a struggle as dad has balanced diabetes, a slow growing prostate cancer, major heart surgery to replace a leaky valve and a recent diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease.

At the same time mom, who has a family history of Alzheimer’s and dementia, has been diagnosed with “mild cognitive impairment”. She has taken direct action to minimize the risk of any further decline but bouts with depression and anxiety, along with her concern for dad make life complicated and tough.

One of the things that helps both of them is to look at pictures and articles from the past. Dad has done a magnificent job in chronicling their life together by compiling articles and mementos into detailed scrap books that cover the entire fifty-eight years of their marriage and beyond.

A few months ago dad called me and my sisters and asked us to write down our memories of our summer visits with Evelyn Vidal (now Rella) who came to Maine each summer, from the age of eight, through the Fresh Air Fund.

My first reaction to dad was “Why don’t we have Evelyn write her thoughts about her experiences in Maine with the Bonseys?” So I picked up the phone and gave Evelyn a call. I knew from the excitement and vibrancy in her voice that my phone call was going to lead to something good and powerful.

Her first reaction was to invite us to her house to visit. I loved the idea but I also knew that traveling from Surry, Maine to New York City was going to be a major task for mom and dad. I decided to go for it and I gave the trip to my parents as a Christmas gift. After a few moments of hesitation my parents committed and we planned the trip so that my sister Lynn, who is a teacher, could join us on the excursion.

Lynn brought my parents from Surry to Kennebunkport and then we left the next morning for NYC. My youngest son, Sam, also road with us to NYC to get a bus that would take him to visit his mom. He won’t soon forget a ride that was full of laughter and stories that he had never heard before.

It is amazing how being with people you love, telling stories and laughing can energize you. It is sort of intoxicating. Dad got so “into it” that he even told us the story from his navy days after WWII when he was in Trinidad and how an overweight, toothless hooker walked right up to him, grabbed his crotch and said “Come with me big boy!”

When we got the NYC we dropped Sam off to catch his bus, checked into our hotel on Staten Island and after a nice nap, headed to Evelyn’s home in Matawan, New Jersey.

We pulled up to her beautiful house and slowly helped dad from the car and shuffled up her steps. We rang the doorbell and it seemed to take forever for Evelyn to come to door. Finally the door flew open and there stood Evelyn with her beautiful smile and spirited personality. She was so excited and emotional and she gave us all hugs as we all shed tears of joy.

We went to dinner that night with Evelyn and her wonderful husband, Dennis. We heard all about her life and how important our family and spending time in Maine had been to her.

This part was especially important for my mom. It was mom’s idea to participate in the Fresh Air Fund. Evelyn told the story of arriving on a Grey Hound bus, as and eight year old, seeing my sister Lynn with her long blonde pigtails and knowing that we were her family. Mom immediately took Evelyn grocery shopping for the things that she liked and, of course, my sister Lynn complained that mom never did that for her. Some things never change.

As Evelyn told story after story of how my mother’s actions, during her visits for the next seven years, had a powerful positive impact on her entire life I could see my mom becoming more relaxed, confident and happy.

We spent the next day with Evelyn, having lunch, going to Museum of Natural History and having dinner with Dennis and Evelyn’s daughter Dawn and son-in law Nick.

I can’t relate all the stories and the amount of laughter that we experienced in our time with Evelyn. She is a remarkable woman with a wonderful family who used many of the skills that my parents were able to impart on her to build a terrific life for herself.

The trip also helped me to see how much my parents are dealing with on a day to day basis. Dad can barely walk (We used a wheelchair to get him around NYC and yes, I did pop a few wheelies with him in the chair!), takes a myriad of pills, has to check his blood sugar and take injections several times a day and understandably gets exhausted easily.

Mom worries about dad and has her own bouts with depression, anxiety and exhaustion.

Through all of those issues they had the strength and courage to take a risk and go on a trip that connected them to who they are, two inspiring people whose lives have had a positive impact on me, my sisters, Evelyn and countless others over the course of their lifetimes.

The energy from this trip will help to propel them forward and help them deal with obstacles along the way. It will also help me move forward and push myself on days when I’m lacking in energy and enthusiasm. As a matter of fact, I think I’ll go jump on the treadmill as I pursue my goal of “looking good naked!”

A Long Time to Break a Five Minute Goal

I ended my last post by writing that I have several more heroes that I am going to write about and use them as motivation as I continue on my quest to look good naked.

Last week I received an email from the father of one of my son and daughter’s high school cross country and track teammates, Glen Staples. He had read my post and wanted me to know that Glen, now a senior at Susquehanna University has just attained a longtime running goal.

It brought tears to my eyes because I remember Glen very well. He was a freshman when my son, Brandon, was a senior. Glen was a very tall, slim and shy freshman who showed up to practice every day and did his best. I got the sense that he really enjoyed the other kids on the team and as he adjusted to the longer distance of high school cross country he really enjoyed the process of simply running.

I think it was during his junior year when I watched him run the mile at the local conference championship meet. He was in the slow heat and it gave him an opportunity to shine. It was great to watch him battle and move his 6’4”, angular body around the track. I was yelling and screaming as he sprinted down the back stretch and won his heat.

His time was somewhere around five minutes and ten seconds and I was hoping that he would get a chance to break five minutes in the mile before he graduated from high school.

In high school breaking five minutes in the miles carries some prestige. Being able to say you ran "four something" is a big deal.

Glen didn’t attain that goal in high school. I’m not sure what his best time was but I don’t think it was much better than the time he ran at the conference championship.

When he went away to college me kept on running with the goal of breaking five minutes. While breaking five minutes in the mile in high school can bring you respect, not breaking five minutes in the mile at a college track meet can leave you ignored as some of the runners at the college meets are trying to break or will break four minutes in the mile.

For the next three and half years Glen ran track and cross country at the college level and pursued his goal of breaking five minutes in the mile. Last week at the Susquehanna Indoor Invitational Glen ran 4:56.99 . I wish I had been there to see it because I would have been yelling, screaming and jumping up and down.

This is what makes Glen one of my heroes. He pursued his dream by pushing himself over a very long time and he didn’t compare himself to runners who were faster.

People like Glen remind me to pursue my own dreams.

Thanks for being one of my heroes Glen, you’ve given me the energy and drive to get on the treadmill as I keep working on my own goal of looking good naked and knowing that it doesn't mean that I am trying to look perfect naked.

Looking Good Naked

I’ve often joked when trying to get into shape or lose weight that I simply want to “look good naked”. Of course, I do want to look good naked and I want to live a long, healthy, productive life.

I’ve been on a quest for the last three months to lose weight and get back into shape. I’ve been inspired by my bother in-law, John, who lost over fifty pounds by simply cutting back and my son Sam who has lost about 30 pounds since graduating from high school back in June.

Neither one followed a particular plan. Most of the weight loss has come because of a simple awareness of how much and what they put in their bodies and an increase in physical activity.

John is an engineer and he loves to work around his house and build hot rods. He’s always been physical but over the years he just didn’t pay attention to what he was eating. Like most of us in middle age and beyond he simply gained a few pounds every year without really noticing what was happening.

Once he decided to lose weight he focused on cutting calories and as the pounds began to fall off he simply started do more and more of what he already loved. It is wonderful how that type of positive energy helps to burn even more calories. I heard he spent a lot of time working with his shirt off this past summer!

Sam has always been a big guy. It wasn’t an easy role to play in a household full of slim people who loved running. What is amazing to me is how hard Sam worked on his running in high school and how he continues to work on his running at college.

I would take him to work with me this past summer and then he would walk and run the five miles home. Once he got to the University of Maine at Farmington he became a gym rat playing pickup games of basketball, the sport he really loves. He also went out for the baseball team, helped to coach a middle school cross country team and published a blog on Maine high school running.

The commitment to exercise and the continued weight loss really helped to boost his confidence and the transition to college. Sam is also a much better student in college than he ever was in high school.

Because of the wonderful people in my life, like John and Sam, I have started my own quest to get in shape.

At the beginning of November I weighed 205 pounds. I started exercising by running and doing weight resistant exercises. I’ve loved this type of exercise since I was a kid so I’m trusting my own instincts and experience to make this work.

I didn’t change my diet for the first two months and I lost 5 pounds. Since the first of the year I have given up alcohol (Don’t worry I already have a date with my daughter Kourtney to go out drinking on her 21st birthday!) and changed my caloric intake. I’ve lost another 14 pounds since then.

If you are interested in getting in shape and losing a few pounds yourself I would encourage you to really look at whom and what inspire you to move your body and be more conscious of how much and what you put in your body.

I have several more heroes like John and Sam to write about and I’ll use them for motivation as I continue my quest to look good naked.